The Brown Man’s Burden Too good humor politics

The Brown Man’s Burden

It was early in the morning, around 8 am, and my father wanted the world Atlas. I fetched, and went about my morning rituals. As I was tiptoeing out the door, the pater hooked me, and started reeling me in. “Correct me if I’m wrong”, he started, conveying clearly his conviction that he never was nor will ever be, “there are no countries in the Artic and Antarctic continents. Is that not so?” I pondered briefly, then offered to look it up on the ‘net from my office. The old-timer smiled pityingly. A feeble attempt, indeed.

“You know, our beloved PM has visited all other continents and almost all countries in those continents. Why not the Arctic & Antarctic, too?” I responded cautiously, sensing a trap: “No people there. Only penguins, dolphins, polar bears, whales, seals”. Daddy-O sat back with a smirk. “My point, exactly. We keep training these dolphins to understand humans and our languages and our emotions, then releasing them back to their habitats. I’m sure these intelligent creatures have been educating other fishes and mammals. Heck, they may be running an underwater Government out in the boonies that we know nothing about!”

Now he was getting to me. “But, pa, please consider. How can dolphins and penguins sign treaties and FTAs?” “Ah, but Son, a few years ago, 90% of Indians were illiterate, and could only leave their thumb-prints on legal papers. The British accepted them happily, if it meant a monetary gain or two. If a polar bear wants to supply Eskimo meat at drastically discounted prices, and wants to put his paw-print on the deed, who am I to argue?”

I was starting to feel a desperate need for air, as I always did 5 minutes into any conversation with dear old Papa. I cast about for a response. “How about the PM’s entourage and the jumbo jets they fly around in? Where would they land?” He had thought about it, of course. “Our pilots can land a plane on a rupee coin. They used to be able to land it on one paisa coins before the Quota Raj took over”.

I had to get him off this track, for sure, unless I wanted a half-hour harangue. “Revered one, protocol dictates a State welcome for a visiting PM. How would the Animal Kingdom manage one?” He mused for a bit. “Yes, it would be unfair to the critters. Tell you what, we’ll send a delegation first to train them on protocols. You have to feel for Sonia, though. She just got done picking a President, now she has to pick a delegation to train Arcticans and Antarticans in political niceties. Ah, heavy is the head that wears the crown!” With that, he closed his eyes to commiserate with Mme. Gandhi on a spiritual plane, and I legged it out of there, exiting left like an Eskimo pursued by a Polar bear looking to stock up on its meat supply.

courtesy: http://nagin.sulekha.com/blog/post/2007/07/the-brown-man-s-burden.htm